Health Update - PTLDS

It was years ago, when I was in living in Arkansas, that friends told me I should have a blog called Grant's Rants. I can't remember any of the rants now, but we laughed at the ridiculous stories I'd go online and rant about. Eventually I might get to that. Until then this blog might be sporadically updated. It might turn into something completely different. I'll likely rant. I don't know. Let's get into it.

I'll start by saying I'm OK. Yes, this is primarily a health update, but I'm not dying. Some of you know this, but I have been struggling with health issues for the last few months. What was misdiagnosed as long-COVID by multiple health professionals was eventually diagnosed as Lyme disease. I was treated with antibiotics but since it was caught late, I now have Post-Treatment Lyme Disease Syndrome (PTLDS). Long story short, it means that I might eventually recover over the course of months-to-years. I might not. PTLDS can present with many different symptoms, which is why it can be so difficult to diagnose. My biggest hurdle is musculoskeletal pain. I've had debilitating joint pain since August 2025. I have good days and bad days. Occasionally I’m OK; other days I can’t walk without severe pain. An infectious disease specialist has told me my pain feels like what arthritis would feel like 40 years from now; the disease sped that process up to just a few months. 

It feels strange and weirdly selfish giving an update like this. I’m not naïve (enough) to think I have it worse than everybody else. There’s so much disease, hurt, sadness, and pain all over the world, my health seems trivial. I mean come on, I'm OK. I’m alive, and I'm fortunate that my job isn't physically demanding. But it feels like a lie saying everything's fine. I’ve been struggling. I’m heartbroken that a few months ago I was drumming, running, skating, hiking, and exercising without thinking about it. Now I struggle with stairs. I’m terrified that my quality of life for the foreseeable future could be a question mark.

A lot of days I wrestle with anger and sadness. Anger that I did everything I could and the disease should have been caught earlier, which would have allowed for a better chance of recovery. Sad that, at least for now, I’ve had to give up large elements of my life I enjoyed and took for granted. 

A friend asked me recently how my relationship with God is going. I confessed we've been having some real conversations. Most of it has been ranting, angry that my body can't do simple tasks. The antibiotics helped keep the pain from migrating around my body, and I'm grateful it's not as severe as it was months ago. But there were days I couldn't lift my hands above my head, couldn't lift a towel high enough to put on a wall hook, couldn't pick up a coffee pot to pour myself a mug in the morning. Those days, conversations with God were a one-way screaming match, begging him to take this pain from me. Sometimes they still are. 

Today was comparatively a "good day". I woke up feeling OK-enough, so I walked the few blocks to and from work. My hobbling up and down stairs wasn't as painful as it usually is, and I managed to get about 15-20 minutes of drumming in before my joints were screaming. Given my pain levels the last 8 months, today was a win.

Future posts may be more details of my PTLDS journey, but we'll leave it at this for now. If you think about it, I’d appreciate your prayers, especially for my wife and immediate family. This hasn’t been easy, days have been heavy, but I'm grateful they put up with my rants.